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Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.
Gary Gulman
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Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Good
Somebody
People
Hate
Running
Belgians
Part
Alright
Problem
Suggestions
Done
Jews
Giving
Jew
Mean
Fine
More quotes by Gary Gulman
The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
Gary Gulman
If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
Gary Gulman
I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
Gary Gulman
I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.
Gary Gulman
I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
Gary Gulman
Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
Gary Gulman
There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
Gary Gulman
It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
Gary Gulman
The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.
Gary Gulman
I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
Gary Gulman
The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.
Gary Gulman
Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
Gary Gulman
Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman
Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
Gary Gulman
I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.
Gary Gulman
My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.
Gary Gulman
For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
Gary Gulman
Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
Gary Gulman
It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
Gary Gulman
I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
Gary Gulman
