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The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Gary Gulman

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Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Coffee
Telling
Keys
Paper
Talent
Stops
Talented

More quotes by Gary Gulman

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The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
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I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.
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I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
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Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
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There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.
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I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
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If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
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Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
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I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.
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My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.
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Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
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There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
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I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
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It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
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Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
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Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.
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Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.
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It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
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Without my family, I'd be something.
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Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
Gary Gulman