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With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.
Gary Gulman
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Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
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More quotes by Gary Gulman
Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman
Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
Gary Gulman
Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.
Gary Gulman
For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
Gary Gulman
I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
Gary Gulman
The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
Gary Gulman
The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.
Gary Gulman
The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.
Gary Gulman
There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.
Gary Gulman
It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
Gary Gulman
It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
Gary Gulman
I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
Gary Gulman
I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
Gary Gulman
Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
Gary Gulman
There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
Gary Gulman
Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
Gary Gulman
I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.
Gary Gulman
I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
Gary Gulman
My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.
Gary Gulman
Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
Gary Gulman
