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Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

Gary Gulman

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Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Rich
Though
Like
People
Plates
Square
Shaped
Squares
Meals

More quotes by Gary Gulman

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The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.
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Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
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I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
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With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.
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Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
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I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.
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It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
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There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
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I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
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Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.
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If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
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Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?
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Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.
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For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
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The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
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Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
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Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.
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I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
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Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
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It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
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