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I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

Gary Gulman

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Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Couple
Wouldn
Swears
Party
Tail
Christian
Tails
Keep
Tea
Right
Swear
Sometimes
Comedian
Throw

More quotes by Gary Gulman

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The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
Gary Gulman
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My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.
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Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
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I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.
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I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
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Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
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Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman
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It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
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Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?
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I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
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Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.
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It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
Gary Gulman
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I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.
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I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
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I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
Gary Gulman
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Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
Gary Gulman
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For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
Gary Gulman
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There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
Gary Gulman
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Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
Gary Gulman
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Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
Gary Gulman