Quote

I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.

Gary Gulman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Went
Nickname
Nicknames
Boston
Jew
Catholic
Yeah
College

More quotes by Gary Gulman

Image
The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
Gary Gulman
Image
Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
Gary Gulman
Image
Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
Gary Gulman
Image
Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
Gary Gulman
Image
If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
Gary Gulman
Image
I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.
Gary Gulman
Image
The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.
Gary Gulman
Image
With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.
Gary Gulman
Image
It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
Gary Gulman
Image
Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
Gary Gulman
Image
Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?
Gary Gulman
Image
The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.
Gary Gulman
Image
I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
Gary Gulman
Image
There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.
Gary Gulman
Image
For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
Gary Gulman
Image
Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.
Gary Gulman
Image
Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
Gary Gulman
Image
It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
Gary Gulman
Image
I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.
Gary Gulman
Image
Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman