Quote

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

Gary Gulman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Wasn
Back
Would
Ironic
Als
Iraq

More quotes by Gary Gulman

Image
Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.
Gary Gulman
Image
Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
Gary Gulman
Image
The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.
Gary Gulman
Image
Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
Gary Gulman
Image
Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman
Image
Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
Gary Gulman
Image
It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
Gary Gulman
Image
For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
Gary Gulman
Image
Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.
Gary Gulman
Image
There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.
Gary Gulman
Image
Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
Gary Gulman
Image
I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
Gary Gulman
Image
The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.
Gary Gulman
Image
I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
Gary Gulman
Image
It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
Gary Gulman
Image
Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
Gary Gulman
Image
If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
Gary Gulman
Image
I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
Gary Gulman
Image
There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
Gary Gulman
Image
I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.
Gary Gulman