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Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

Gary Gulman

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Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Back
Would
Ironic
Als
Iraq
Wasn

More quotes by Gary Gulman

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Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
Gary Gulman
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Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.
Gary Gulman
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It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
Gary Gulman
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I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.
Gary Gulman
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The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
Gary Gulman
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Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
Gary Gulman
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I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
Gary Gulman
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I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
Gary Gulman
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My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.
Gary Gulman
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I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
Gary Gulman
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Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
Gary Gulman
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The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.
Gary Gulman
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There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.
Gary Gulman
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The other thing is that I'm a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That's hard. Most people are like, 'Well, you have all your hair and you're tall, so why are you unhappy?' That can be limiting.
Gary Gulman
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I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.
Gary Gulman
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It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.
Gary Gulman
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Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
Gary Gulman
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If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.
Gary Gulman
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Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
Gary Gulman
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Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman