Quote

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

Gary Gulman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Gary Gulman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: July 17
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Peabody
Massachusetts
Gary Lewis Gulman
Force
War
Years
Sheets
Waking
Wars
Star
Stars

More quotes by Gary Gulman

Image
Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.
Gary Gulman
Image
It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
Gary Gulman
Image
I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.
Gary Gulman
Image
For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.
Gary Gulman
Image
Without my family, I'd be something.
Gary Gulman
Image
Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.
Gary Gulman
Image
Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?
Gary Gulman
Image
I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.
Gary Gulman
Image
Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.
Gary Gulman
Image
I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.
Gary Gulman
Image
The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.
Gary Gulman
Image
With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.
Gary Gulman
Image
Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.
Gary Gulman
Image
I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.
Gary Gulman
Image
I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.
Gary Gulman
Image
Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.
Gary Gulman
Image
Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.
Gary Gulman
Image
There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
Gary Gulman
Image
I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.
Gary Gulman
Image
Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.
Gary Gulman