Quote

I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also believe that the person who is married to the abuser or the alcoholic or whomever has the greatest potential for helping them.

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Also
Reader
Whomever
Persons
Married
Abusers
Person
Marriage
Empathetic
Believe
Greatest
Alcoholic
Hope
Alcoholics
Pain
Desperate
Sense
Deeply
Helping
Potential
Abuser

More quotes by Gary Chapman

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I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.
Gary Chapman
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We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.
Gary Chapman
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The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
Gary Chapman
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Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.
Gary Chapman
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If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.
Gary Chapman
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I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we still had great struggles.
Gary Chapman
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One [reality] is that I am responsible for my attitude. I can be in prison, and I happen to get a chance to go outside. I can look at the mud, or I can look at the stars. I am the one who decides which way to look. That is true for every one of us.
Gary Chapman
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If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, then there is really no hope for you to have a good relationship. That is another myth that we have to throw off, so that we can get into what I call Reality.
Gary Chapman
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Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments , but in relationships
Gary Chapman
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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
Gary Chapman
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The person who is in-love has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.
Gary Chapman
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The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is the way they were brought up in their family.
Gary Chapman
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The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
Gary Chapman
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We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I am going to learn how to return good for evil, and I am going to make a difference in this world.
Gary Chapman
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This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
Gary Chapman
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Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.
Gary Chapman
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Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment.
Gary Chapman
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Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
Gary Chapman
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Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
Gary Chapman
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Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.
Gary Chapman