Quote

The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Part
Advise
Change
Pushed
May
Tender
Wells
Corner
Well
Corners
Thing
Tried
Abuser
Going
Getting
Abusers
Love
True
Typically

More quotes by Gary Chapman

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We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope.
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Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today!
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Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment.
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Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is it best for the person at whom I am angry? The two most constructive options are either to confront the person in a helpful way, or to consciously decide to overlook the matter.
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The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
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We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I am going to learn how to return good for evil, and I am going to make a difference in this world.
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You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
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A soft answer turns away anger.
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Isolation is devastating to the human psyche.
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The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.
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When I admit my own imperfections, it doesn't mean I am a bad person.
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Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.
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Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.
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Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.
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All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.
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I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also believe that the person who is married to the abuser or the alcoholic or whomever has the greatest potential for helping them.
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Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.
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Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.
Gary Chapman
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I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that? I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are hopeless.
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My attitude affects my actions. So, if I have a negative attitude about it, then it is going to show up in the way I respond, but if I have a positive attitude, then I start looking for the things I can do that will make my life better and make the lives of people around me better.
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