Quote

The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
May
Tender
Wells
Corner
Well
Corners
Thing
Tried
Abuser
Going
Getting
Abusers
Love
True
Typically
Part
Advise
Change
Pushed

More quotes by Gary Chapman

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People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
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Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment.
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Love is a choice you make everyday.
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This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.
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I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.
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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
Gary Chapman
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Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today!
Gary Chapman
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The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.
Gary Chapman
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We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with the help of God, consistently speak their love language no matter how they are treated.
Gary Chapman
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At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.
Gary Chapman
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Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.
Gary Chapman
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One [reality] is that I am responsible for my attitude. I can be in prison, and I happen to get a chance to go outside. I can look at the mud, or I can look at the stars. I am the one who decides which way to look. That is true for every one of us.
Gary Chapman
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Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.
Gary Chapman
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This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
Gary Chapman
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..there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.
Gary Chapman
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Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments , but in relationships
Gary Chapman
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We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope.
Gary Chapman
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I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that? I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are hopeless.
Gary Chapman
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If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, Honey, how'd your day go, and I listed to how her day went. If I say, Is there anything I can do to help you, and she tells me, Honey, if you could peel the potatoes, or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way.
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Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.
Gary Chapman