Quote

We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with the help of God, consistently speak their love language no matter how they are treated.

Gary Chapman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Language
Desperately
Difficult
Spouse
Speak
Consistently
Helping
Treated
Matter
Marriage
Need
Help
Needs
Love
Learn

More quotes by Gary Chapman

Image
Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
Gary Chapman
Image
This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.
Gary Chapman
Image
We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope.
Gary Chapman
Image
You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
Gary Chapman
Image
In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.
Gary Chapman
Image
Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.
Gary Chapman
Image
If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, Honey, how'd your day go, and I listed to how her day went. If I say, Is there anything I can do to help you, and she tells me, Honey, if you could peel the potatoes, or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way.
Gary Chapman
Image
Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.
Gary Chapman
Image
Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
Gary Chapman
Image
People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
Gary Chapman
Image
I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.
Gary Chapman
Image
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
Gary Chapman
Image
Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.
Gary Chapman
Image
We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.
Gary Chapman
Image
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
Gary Chapman
Image
Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today!
Gary Chapman
Image
Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.
Gary Chapman
Image
I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we still had great struggles.
Gary Chapman
Image
If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, then there is really no hope for you to have a good relationship. That is another myth that we have to throw off, so that we can get into what I call Reality.
Gary Chapman
Image
One [reality] is that I am responsible for my attitude. I can be in prison, and I happen to get a chance to go outside. I can look at the mud, or I can look at the stars. I am the one who decides which way to look. That is true for every one of us.
Gary Chapman