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Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Matter
Going
Every
Negative
Positive
Marriage
Influence
Single

More quotes by Gary Chapman

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Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.
Gary Chapman
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Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
Gary Chapman
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Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.
Gary Chapman
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A soft answer turns away anger.
Gary Chapman
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Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.
Gary Chapman
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You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
Gary Chapman
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If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, Honey, how'd your day go, and I listed to how her day went. If I say, Is there anything I can do to help you, and she tells me, Honey, if you could peel the potatoes, or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way.
Gary Chapman
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People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
Gary Chapman
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Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.
Gary Chapman
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Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is it best for the person at whom I am angry? The two most constructive options are either to confront the person in a helpful way, or to consciously decide to overlook the matter.
Gary Chapman
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On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and flip on the TV, get myself something to drink, sit down, start unwinding, I have influenced my wife in a very negative way.
Gary Chapman
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Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today!
Gary Chapman
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The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
Gary Chapman
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..there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.
Gary Chapman
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Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.
Gary Chapman
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Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.
Gary Chapman
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I think one of the other myths is that your environment determines your happiness. That if you are living with an alcoholic or living with a depressed spouse for a long time, you are just going to be unhappy.
Gary Chapman
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I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also believe that the person who is married to the abuser or the alcoholic or whomever has the greatest potential for helping them.
Gary Chapman
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Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.
Gary Chapman
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We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope.
Gary Chapman