Quote

I think one of the other myths is that your environment determines your happiness. That if you are living with an alcoholic or living with a depressed spouse for a long time, you are just going to be unhappy.

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Environment
Alcoholics
Happiness
Myths
Living
Determines
Going
Spouse
Long
Depressed
Time
Myth
Think
Unhappy
Thinking
Determine
Alcoholic

More quotes by Gary Chapman

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Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is it best for the person at whom I am angry? The two most constructive options are either to confront the person in a helpful way, or to consciously decide to overlook the matter.
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Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.
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This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
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Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.
Gary Chapman
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I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.
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Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.
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Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.
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I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we still had great struggles.
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Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.
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We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope.
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We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history.
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The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.
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Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.
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Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
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Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
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People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
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I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.
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In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.
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Love is a choice you make everyday.
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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
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