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Isolation is devastating to the human psyche.

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Devastating
Psyche
Isolation
Human
Humans

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A soft answer turns away anger.
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Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.
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People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
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If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, then there is really no hope for you to have a good relationship. That is another myth that we have to throw off, so that we can get into what I call Reality.
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We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history.
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I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we still had great struggles.
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This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
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You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
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I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.
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I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.
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The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
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When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict. When we listen, understand, and respect each other's ideas, we can then find a solution in which both of us are winners.
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Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty LOVE TANK.
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Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
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Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. I am also convinced that love is the most important ingredient in the single 's search for meaning.
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Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.
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Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
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Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.
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Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.
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The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
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