Quote

Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

Gary Chapman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Love
Choices
Basic
Fall
Instinct
Another
Loving
Someone
Choice
Reason
Emotional
Need
Worth
Chooses
Needs
Loved
Genuinely
Something
Grows
Sees

More quotes by Gary Chapman

Image
I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.
Gary Chapman
Image
We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history.
Gary Chapman
Image
Real love - This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.
Gary Chapman
Image
Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.
Gary Chapman
Image
I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that? I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are hopeless.
Gary Chapman
Image
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
Gary Chapman
Image
Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
Gary Chapman
Image
You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
Gary Chapman
Image
People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
Gary Chapman
Image
When I admit my own imperfections, it doesn't mean I am a bad person.
Gary Chapman
Image
Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.
Gary Chapman
Image
I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and we do it every single day.
Gary Chapman
Image
Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?
Gary Chapman
Image
In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.
Gary Chapman
Image
I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we still had great struggles.
Gary Chapman
Image
Love is a choice you make everyday.
Gary Chapman
Image
At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.
Gary Chapman
Image
Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.
Gary Chapman
Image
Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment.
Gary Chapman
Image
If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, Honey, how'd your day go, and I listed to how her day went. If I say, Is there anything I can do to help you, and she tells me, Honey, if you could peel the potatoes, or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way.
Gary Chapman