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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
Gary Chapman
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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Married
Divorce
Marriage
Preparation
Relationship
Intimate
Results
Planning
Working
Lack
Learn
Result
Teammates
Together
Skills
Teammate
People
Failure
Divorced
More quotes by Gary Chapman
Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.
Gary Chapman
We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I am going to learn how to return good for evil, and I am going to make a difference in this world.
Gary Chapman
I think one of the other myths is that your environment determines your happiness. That if you are living with an alcoholic or living with a depressed spouse for a long time, you are just going to be unhappy.
Gary Chapman
I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also believe that the person who is married to the abuser or the alcoholic or whomever has the greatest potential for helping them.
Gary Chapman
If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.
Gary Chapman
In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.
Gary Chapman
If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, Honey, how'd your day go, and I listed to how her day went. If I say, Is there anything I can do to help you, and she tells me, Honey, if you could peel the potatoes, or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way.
Gary Chapman
My attitude affects my actions. So, if I have a negative attitude about it, then it is going to show up in the way I respond, but if I have a positive attitude, then I start looking for the things I can do that will make my life better and make the lives of people around me better.
Gary Chapman
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
Gary Chapman
Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
Gary Chapman
Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.
Gary Chapman
Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.
Gary Chapman
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
Gary Chapman
This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
Gary Chapman
When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict. When we listen, understand, and respect each other's ideas, we can then find a solution in which both of us are winners.
Gary Chapman
One [reality] is that I am responsible for my attitude. I can be in prison, and I happen to get a chance to go outside. I can look at the mud, or I can look at the stars. I am the one who decides which way to look. That is true for every one of us.
Gary Chapman
The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is the way they were brought up in their family.
Gary Chapman
This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.
Gary Chapman
Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment.
Gary Chapman
Isolation is devastating to the human psyche.
Gary Chapman
