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..there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.
Gary Chapman
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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Even
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More quotes by Gary Chapman
This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.
Gary Chapman
You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.
Gary Chapman
We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you keep telling yourself that, then you live with no hope. But if you understand that that's a myth, then you open up the door to hope.
Gary Chapman
Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments , but in relationships
Gary Chapman
One [reality] is that I am responsible for my attitude. I can be in prison, and I happen to get a chance to go outside. I can look at the mud, or I can look at the stars. I am the one who decides which way to look. That is true for every one of us.
Gary Chapman
Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.
Gary Chapman
The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is the way they were brought up in their family.
Gary Chapman
Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today!
Gary Chapman
Real love - This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.
Gary Chapman
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.
Gary Chapman
We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I am going to learn how to return good for evil, and I am going to make a difference in this world.
Gary Chapman
Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?
Gary Chapman
The person who is in-love has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.
Gary Chapman
Sex is the joining of two bodies love is the joining of two souls.
Gary Chapman
Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.
Gary Chapman
This is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
Gary Chapman
I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also believe that the person who is married to the abuser or the alcoholic or whomever has the greatest potential for helping them.
Gary Chapman
On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and flip on the TV, get myself something to drink, sit down, start unwinding, I have influenced my wife in a very negative way.
Gary Chapman
People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
Gary Chapman
We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with the help of God, consistently speak their love language no matter how they are treated.
Gary Chapman
