Quote

Real love - This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.

Gary Chapman

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Gary Chapman
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: January 10
Author
Radio Personality
Writer
Winston-Salem
North Carolina
Gary Demonte Chapman
Kind
Growth
Love
Emotion
Obsessional
Personal
Unites
Nature
Recognizes
Reason
Involves
Need
Requires
Real
Discipline
Needs
Emotional

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Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.
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We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history.
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All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.
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Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
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If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, then there is really no hope for you to have a good relationship. That is another myth that we have to throw off, so that we can get into what I call Reality.
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Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a commitment.
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The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is the way they were brought up in their family.
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In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.
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Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.
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I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that? I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are hopeless.
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Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?
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What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.
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This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.
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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
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A soft answer turns away anger.
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Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments , but in relationships
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My attitude affects my actions. So, if I have a negative attitude about it, then it is going to show up in the way I respond, but if I have a positive attitude, then I start looking for the things I can do that will make my life better and make the lives of people around me better.
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Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
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Sex is the joining of two bodies love is the joining of two souls.
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The person who is in-love has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.
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