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Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling
Age: 66 †
Born: 1949
Born: November 29
Died: 2016
Died: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Garry Emmanuel Shandling
Soon
Maybe
Work
Oysters
Enhance
Sexual
Performance
Performances
Supposed
More quotes by Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
Garry Shandling
I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.
Garry Shandling
I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.
Garry Shandling
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Garry Shandling
After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And she said, I don't think this was good for anybody.
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Garry Shandling
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
Garry Shandling
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
Garry Shandling
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Garry Shandling
I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Garry Shandling
I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
Garry Shandling
