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Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling
Age: 66 †
Born: 1949
Born: November 29
Died: 2016
Died: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Garry Emmanuel Shandling
Performances
Supposed
Soon
Maybe
Work
Oysters
Enhance
Sexual
Performance
More quotes by Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
Garry Shandling
I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.
Garry Shandling
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
Garry Shandling
Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?
Garry Shandling
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
Garry Shandling
After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And she said, I don't think this was good for anybody.
Garry Shandling
Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.
Garry Shandling
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
Garry Shandling
I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.
Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.
Garry Shandling
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.
Garry Shandling
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Garry Shandling
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
Garry Shandling
