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Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling
Age: 66 †
Born: 1949
Born: November 29
Died: 2016
Died: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Garry Emmanuel Shandling
Soon
Maybe
Work
Oysters
Enhance
Sexual
Performance
Performances
Supposed
More quotes by Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
Garry Shandling
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.
Garry Shandling
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
Garry Shandling
I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honestI think real people should not be on television It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real
Garry Shandling
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
Garry Shandling
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
Garry Shandling
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Garry Shandling
Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Garry Shandling
