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I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling
Age: 66 †
Born: 1949
Born: November 29
Died: 2016
Died: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Garry Emmanuel Shandling
Homeless
Dating
Staying
Easier
Talking
Woman
More quotes by Garry Shandling
I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.
Garry Shandling
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
Garry Shandling
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
Garry Shandling
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Garry Shandling
After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And she said, I don't think this was good for anybody.
Garry Shandling
I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.
Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
Garry Shandling
I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honestI think real people should not be on television It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Garry Shandling
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.
Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Garry Shandling
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
Garry Shandling
I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.
Garry Shandling
Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?
Garry Shandling
