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When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling
Age: 66 †
Born: 1949
Born: November 29
Died: 2016
Died: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Garry Emmanuel Shandling
Woman
Feels
Way
Like
Shave
Legs
Relationship
Sleep
Funny
More quotes by Garry Shandling
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Garry Shandling
Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
Garry Shandling
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
Garry Shandling
I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.
Garry Shandling
I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honestI think real people should not be on television It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real
Garry Shandling
Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?
Garry Shandling
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
Garry Shandling
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.
Garry Shandling
