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I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
Garry Shandling
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Garry Shandling
Age: 66 †
Born: 1949
Born: November 29
Died: 2016
Died: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Garry Emmanuel Shandling
Date
Dating
Anybody
Vision
Poor
Funny
More quotes by Garry Shandling
Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
Garry Shandling
I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.
Garry Shandling
I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Garry Shandling
I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honestI think real people should not be on television It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real
Garry Shandling
Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.
Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Garry Shandling
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.
Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.
Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
Garry Shandling
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell
Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
Garry Shandling
I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.
Garry Shandling
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.
Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Garry Shandling
