Quote

Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
America
Luggage
Problem
Airline
Everything
Humor
Problems
Happened
Lives
Happens
Ends
Handlers

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
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Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love.
Garrison Keillor
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...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
Garrison Keillor
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
Garrison Keillor
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
Garrison Keillor
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I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
Garrison Keillor
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
Garrison Keillor
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
Garrison Keillor
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
Garrison Keillor
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To your left is the marina where several senior cabinet officials keep luxury yachts for weekend cruises on the Potomac. Some of these ships are up to 100 feet in length the Presidential yacht is over 200 feet in length, and can remain submerged for up to 3 weeks.
Garrison Keillor
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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
Garrison Keillor
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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
Garrison Keillor
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison Keillor
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Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
Garrison Keillor