Quote

Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Ends
Handlers
America
Luggage
Problem
Airline
Everything
Humor
Problems
Happened
Lives
Happens

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
Garrison Keillor
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I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York for me is one of those places.
Garrison Keillor
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
Garrison Keillor
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Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
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To your left is the marina where several senior cabinet officials keep luxury yachts for weekend cruises on the Potomac. Some of these ships are up to 100 feet in length the Presidential yacht is over 200 feet in length, and can remain submerged for up to 3 weeks.
Garrison Keillor
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
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The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
Garrison Keillor
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
Garrison Keillor
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
Garrison Keillor
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
Garrison Keillor
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Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
Garrison Keillor
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
Garrison Keillor
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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Garrison Keillor
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A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
Garrison Keillor