Quote

I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York for me is one of those places.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
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Screenwriter
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Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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Intuitively
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No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
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I hiked around town, the air sweet and dry, and was sort of overwhelmed by the perfection of it -- the old courthouse, the train depot, Mount [Jumbo] and Mount Sentinel rising up, the neon bars, the funky festivity of a college town .
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
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Writing is the main gig and teaching and performing are sidelines, an excuse for not writing more. Working on a novel and on an opera make me seriously want to retire and find a volunteer job as a docent at the zoo explaining to schoolchildren where frogs go in the winter.
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
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Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
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As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
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