Quote

Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Many
Tale
Commodity
Rare
Fairy
Tales
Honesty
Palace
Rocks
Marriages
Ends
Palaces

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Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
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Being rich and thin isn't everything.
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The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
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I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
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It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
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I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
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