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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Tales
Honesty
Palace
Rocks
Marriages
Ends
Palaces
Many
Tale
Commodity
Rare
Fairy

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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
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Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
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A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
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I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
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I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
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Sport is a seductive metaphor (life as a game in which we gain victory through hard work, discipline, and visualizing success). but the older metaphor of farming (life as hard labor that is subject to weather and quirks of blind fate and may return no reward whatsoever and don't be surprised) is still in our blood.
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
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It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
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