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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Rocks
Marriages
Ends
Palaces
Many
Tale
Commodity
Rare
Fairy
Tales
Honesty
Palace

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Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.
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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
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Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
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My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.
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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
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No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
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I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
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You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
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If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
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