Quote

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Marrying
Flying
London
Sex
Point
Free
Thing
Pretzels
Like
Peanuts

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
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My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
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Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk.
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
Garrison Keillor
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
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Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Garrison Keillor
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison Keillor