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Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Sex
Point
Free
Pretzels
Thing
Peanuts
Like
Marrying
Flying
London
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
Garrison Keillor
No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
Garrison Keillor
Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
Garrison Keillor
I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor
The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
Garrison Keillor
She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
Garrison Keillor
To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
Garrison Keillor
You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
Garrison Keillor
Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.
Garrison Keillor
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
Garrison Keillor
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
Garrison Keillor
Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love.
Garrison Keillor
Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
Garrison Keillor
Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor
You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
Garrison Keillor
..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison Keillor
There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
