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We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Aides
Aids
Sex
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Garrison Keillor
I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
Garrison Keillor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
Garrison Keillor
Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
Garrison Keillor
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor
Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
Garrison Keillor
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
Garrison Keillor
You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
Garrison Keillor
... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
Garrison Keillor
Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
Garrison Keillor
A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
Being rich and thin isn't everything.
Garrison Keillor
That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
Garrison Keillor
The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
Garrison Keillor
I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Garrison Keillor
