Quote

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

Garrison Keillor

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Books
Read
Bigs
Reason
Book
Drunks
Humorists
Fail
Failing

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

Image
To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
Image
..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
Garrison Keillor
Image
God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
Garrison Keillor
Image
In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
Garrison Keillor
Image
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
Garrison Keillor
Image
When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
Image
A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
Garrison Keillor
Image
It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
Garrison Keillor
Image
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
Image
We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
Garrison Keillor