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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Book
Drunks
Humorists
Fail
Failing
Books
Read
Bigs
Reason
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk.
Garrison Keillor
It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
Garrison Keillor
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
Garrison Keillor
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
Garrison Keillor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
Being rich and thin isn't everything.
Garrison Keillor
You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
Garrison Keillor
A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
Garrison Keillor
I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
Garrison Keillor
I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
Garrison Keillor
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Garrison Keillor
You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
Garrison Keillor
