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When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Memories
May
Many
Much
Time
Feast
Exercise
Spend
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
Garrison Keillor
When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
Garrison Keillor
Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
Garrison Keillor
I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
Garrison Keillor
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
Garrison Keillor
My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.
Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
Garrison Keillor
I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
Garrison Keillor
The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
Garrison Keillor
I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
Garrison Keillor
Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
Garrison Keillor
