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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Avoid
Head
Haircut
Possible
Haircuts
People
Minnesota
Cent
Cents
Stupidity
Wanting
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
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When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
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Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
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I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
Garrison Keillor
It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
