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That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Fighting
People
Strangers
Stranger
Created
Marriage
Wouldn
Fight
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor
You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
Garrison Keillor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
Garrison Keillor
The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
Garrison Keillor
The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York for me is one of those places.
Garrison Keillor
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
Garrison Keillor
Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
Garrison Keillor
Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor
In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
Garrison Keillor
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
