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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
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Television Producer
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Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
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The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
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As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
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I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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