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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Like
Ordering
Walter
Sandwich
Sandwiches
Norm
Choose
Great
Coleman
Going
Tuna

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
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She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
Garrison Keillor
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You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
Garrison Keillor
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
Garrison Keillor
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Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
Garrison Keillor
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
Garrison Keillor
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... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
Garrison Keillor
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There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
Garrison Keillor
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Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
Garrison Keillor
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
Garrison Keillor