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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Great
Coleman
Going
Tuna
Like
Ordering
Walter
Sandwich
Sandwiches
Norm
Choose

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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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We English majors...need to promote public libraries as a tool in the war against terror. How many readers of Edith Wharton have engaged in terroristic acts? I challenge you to name one...Do we need to wait until our cities lie in smoking ruins before we wake up to the fact that a first-class public library is a vital link in national defense?
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I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
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IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
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Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
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Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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