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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Norm
Choose
Great
Coleman
Going
Tuna
Like
Ordering
Walter
Sandwich
Sandwiches
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
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We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
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When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
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To your left is the marina where several senior cabinet officials keep luxury yachts for weekend cruises on the Potomac. Some of these ships are up to 100 feet in length the Presidential yacht is over 200 feet in length, and can remain submerged for up to 3 weeks.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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Writing is the main gig and teaching and performing are sidelines, an excuse for not writing more. Working on a novel and on an opera make me seriously want to retire and find a volunteer job as a docent at the zoo explaining to schoolchildren where frogs go in the winter.
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
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The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
Garrison Keillor
