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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Writing
Drafts
Laptop
Laptops
Count
Anymore
Impossible
Write
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
Garrison Keillor
Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love.
Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.
Garrison Keillor
When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
Garrison Keillor
A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
Garrison Keillor
That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
Garrison Keillor
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
Garrison Keillor
God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor
We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor
... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
Garrison Keillor
Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
Garrison Keillor
IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
Garrison Keillor
When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
Garrison Keillor