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Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Mentioning
Tender
Avoid
Feelings
Sometimes
Things
People

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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
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I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
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