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Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Mentioning
Tender
Avoid
Feelings
Sometimes
Things
People

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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
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The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
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The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
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I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
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Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk.
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...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
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I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
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The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
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Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
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As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
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