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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Achievement
Opportunity
Problem
Years
Manhood
Overcome
Overcoming
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
Garrison Keillor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Garrison Keillor
I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
Garrison Keillor
People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Garrison Keillor
Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
Garrison Keillor
The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
Garrison Keillor
IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York for me is one of those places.
Garrison Keillor
Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor
Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison Keillor