Quote

If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Absolutes
Absolute
Trust
Power
People
Methodist
Methodists
Arrest

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
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Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
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Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
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Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
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As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
Garrison Keillor
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
Garrison Keillor
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It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
Garrison Keillor
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Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
Garrison Keillor
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Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
Garrison Keillor
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison Keillor
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
Garrison Keillor