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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Persons
Ideal
Person
Inevitable
Nervous
Ahead
Ideals
Perfection
Sense
Possessing
Makes
Decline

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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
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A child can educate just about anybody.
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
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Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
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Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
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It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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