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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Would
Strangle
Like
Encouraging
People
Loser
Losing
Loss
Terrible
Sometimes
Always
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
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It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
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Being rich and thin isn't everything.
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
Garrison Keillor
Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
Garrison Keillor
In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
