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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Terrible
Sometimes
Always
Would
Strangle
Like
Encouraging
People
Loser
Losing
Loss
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
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A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
Garrison Keillor
I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
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There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
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I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor
... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
Garrison Keillor
Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor
