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Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
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Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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Chain
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Men
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Chains
Ball
Balls
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Prisoners
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
Garrison Keillor
The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
Garrison Keillor
A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
Garrison Keillor
We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
Garrison Keillor
Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
Garrison Keillor
... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
Garrison Keillor
Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
Garrison Keillor
To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Garrison Keillor
In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
Garrison Keillor
No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
Garrison Keillor
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
Garrison Keillor
