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Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Government
Democrat
Heavy
Limp
Republican
Damp
Dead
Moderate
Hand
Moderates
Bigs
Liberalism
Hands
Republicans
Become
Democrats

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
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IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
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Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
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When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
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Being rich and thin isn't everything.
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
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We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
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You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
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Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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